well then,

i see that i have been ignoring my blog for quite some time now, but i think it's mostly because i just haven't found anything profound to write!

so i've decided that it's time to get of love and loathing in order and finished...i've pretty much got most of it figured out, and hell, after three years, it better be done. i feel like an insane person; i'm haunted by fictional characters of my own creation. but i know once it is done i'll feel better.

work is okay. i dig most of the people that work there. actually, i dig everybody besides one person, but from what i understand, there always has to be that one asshole there to ruin the perfectly lovely team. if not, the world would implode.

i've been painting again, and i realize that i truly love it.

and i've also realized that a complete career devoted to art would make me hate everything i love about it; the spontaneity, the emotion, the control--it would all vanish if it were a job. i don't want it to be something i have to do; i want it to be something that i truly enjoy doing.

well, that's all i got for you--i'm off to writing something fictional.

i made

myself laugh today.

so, i was thinking about how religion is a scam, because anything out to get your money is a scam. and then i was thinking, well, its all just some big old ponzi scheme, and voila!

metaphorically, god is bernie madoff in the ponzi scheme of religion.

:D!

bahaha i had to share my genius with someone. i hope i put a smile on your face, or that i just flat out offended you. <3

in other news, my tattoo appointment is next friday, :D
it is so damn hot outside that i want to die, D:
and that damn pitbull song is still stuck in my head Dx
(the one where he counts.)

g'night.

okay, i'm going

to rant and bitch this entire post, so if you are completely disinterested in my complaining and bitch-ery please stop reading now.

plain and simple; this 'oh gosh, i'm bisexual!' trend needs to end now. it annoys the hell out of me when obviously straight people automatically assume that they must be bisexual because they find a person of the same sex attractive. i'm just going to bitch about women now, because i don't see it happening so much with men, because they are just oh-too-macho to admit that another man is good looking.

now, there is a huge difference between finding a woman attractive or admiring her and being sexually interested in her. i hate when girls are like, 'oh, angelina jolie/natalie portman/scarlett johansson/etcetc is so attractive! i must be bisexual, because i find them so attractive!'

no. you do not find them attractive because you are bisexual; you find them attractive because you are human, and they simply are attractive women.

this is just my opinion, and i don't give a damn if you disagree with it or not. you are only bisexual if you are sexually attracted to both sexes. this means that you would pursue a sexual relationship with both men and women--not necessarily at the same time, but if it makes you happy, then go for it. so all these straight girls that make out with other girls at parties and think they are bisexual because they kissed a girl, just shut the fuck up and stop confusing those that are truly bisexual or gay.

and then all those girls that are like, 'i'm bisexual when i'm drunk!' no, you are an attention whore when you are drunk and are probably kissing girls to get attention from men.

it's not cool to be gay/bi/whatever. it's cool to just be yourself and do what makes you happy.

gahh i'm done.

well,

it's been a while, and i'm sorry--i haven't been connected to the internet for ages.

today was hell. i started running errands in my car, with no a/c, at nine in the morning, and finished at around four this afternoon. i was so damn tired and drained that i slept until around 9pm, and now i will be up forever.

tomorrow i'm going to go to pv, mat some stuff, go to joyce's to rearrange her furniture, go swimming, and then set up my tattoo appointment. i'm getting edgar allan poe's signature on my left wrist. then, i'm going to get a cardinal on my right hand, but probably not on the same day. mommy got me a gift certificate for silk city tattoo for graduation. :D

ugggh. well, in future news, i'm leaning towards joining the navy. i just feel like i have nothing else to do, and i'll get to travel, i'll get money for school, health insurance, and i'm not going to ship off to afghanistan to get shot. i know i'm definitely not going to new paltz--my financial aid was bullshit, and there's no way that i'm going to pay 14k for 100 level courses. i can't get the loan either way, so that is out of the question.

well, i'm going to try to go to sleep now.
g'night all.

i bit

the inside of my lip at least 17 times today, all in the same spot, and it is so annoying--the spot is swollen and keeps getting in the way of everything. and now it's like i'm obsessing over it---i can't stop thinking about it, it is controlling my life.

nyc was super fun today! i saw the picasso exhibit at the met, and it was really cool to see how his art evolved throughout his life. i also went up to the roof garden, and there was this really cool bamboo forest-like installation that you could walk up. it was pretty insane. but then time was up! i barely saw anything before we had to run along. then we saw a bit of central park, and then we went our separate ways to get lunch. my group went to this asian fusion restaurant called ruby foo's--the food was good but a little on the expensive side. then we just walked all over the place until the bus picked us up.

i wish we had more time at the museum, but it's hard to fit anything in such a short period of time.

art show set up is tomorrow. kinda dreading it to be honest.
also, psych presentation.

but for now, painting and then sleep.
good night.

also,

seeing as it is memorial day, i'd like to put it out there that i have a lot of love for soldiers and veterans that put their life on the line for mostly undeserving people. it is really disturbing to see what this holiday has become--teenagers carelessly risking their own lives for a weekend of drunken stupidities while soldiers are dying defending them.

all that being said, i sincerely wish that we lived in a world where wars and violence and hatred and all that crap didn't exist.

peace and love.

limeade tastes great,

but the process of making it can be very dangerous. take my experience last night for example. i'm just trying to be a little over ambitious and cut up limes to make limeade, etcetc. but instead, as i'm cutting a lime, my pinky gets in the way, and ka-pow, it's gone, chopped off completely, sitting comfortably next to the pile of lime slices.

not really. now that would have been a tragedy. but, i just sliced it pretty good, and it looks gross. there goes my hand modeling career.

i think i'm going to the movies with momma later...and i have to finish jfran's project, and paint some more. tomorrow is the nyc trip with the ghana students--i'm super excited!